is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
