remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
