I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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