I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
