I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
