How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
