Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
