apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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