My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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