Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
