Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
