And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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