Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
