lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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