I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
