so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
