next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Randomize
