Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
