I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
