Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
