I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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