i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
