You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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