My brain says no but my pants say off.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
