office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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