Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
