When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
