Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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