What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
