hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The beer is more important than you right now.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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