she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
