I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
