Just mADE A PArabola og urine
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
