How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
