true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the day after is always just damage control
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
