Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
