got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
