You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
