drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize