NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize