I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
