he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
