2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
