Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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