be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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