i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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