Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize