Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
