He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
