He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
