I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
