the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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