Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
