The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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