he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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