I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
