Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
