smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Randomize